Bacon Blog.

Time to cook some BACON, hell yes!

Was hangin' out at 3 A.M. by myself on a Thursday, wanted to make some BACON.

Took some pictures, thought I could bring you along for the ride!

So let's go!

What is needed? - BACON, cookie sheet, baking paper and a quart sized container.

Cooking time? - Roughly 20 minutes @ 375* degrees Fahrenheit (depending on how well you pay attention).

Step 1: Soaking your BACON.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Before you start any of these steps, be sure to preheat your oven to a nice temp of 375* degrees Fahrenheit (3 million degrees if on the moon). By the time you're ready to throw the BACON in, the oven will have enough time to heat and you can feel SUPER EFFICIENT (man, you're good at this)!

- Doesn't really matter what kind of BACON you use, sure quality is great (I don't have that fuckin' money), Any BACON cooked in this method will come out tasting fantastic.

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- Take your Quart sized container and place your BACON inside.

- Call your BACON "A dirty girl" (very important) and continue to do so suggestively until your BACON is wet enough to fill the Quart sized container to almost the top.

Wink.

- Let the bacon soak in it's own sin for about 10 minutes, You only need 5 but you forgot what you were doing while texting your girlfriend to brag about the bacon you were making, what you were saying to it and got distracted (trust me, the water is the most important part of the bacon cooking properly, I'm not a doctor but I've done both with and without to test it (solid excuse)).

Step 2: Placing BACON on the cookie sheet.

Pretty simple...

- Place a sheet of baking paper on your cookie sheet. Though it sounds pretty cool to keep all the grease that expels from your BACON, the end result will not be as satisfying. (It's up to you, I just advise against such an act. The sheet will soak up the excess grease that you probably don't need, don't worry, there still will be plenty).

- Place the BACON on top of the paper, be as organized as you can be. If space becomes an issue, no big deal, just place the excess pieces in spots that may have paper showing in between as priority.

- Throw the BACON in the oven that you already had preheated from before, cause you're SUPER EFFICIENT (man, you're good at this)!

- Keep it in there for about 15 - 20 human minutes checking on it frequently cause you keep losing track of time and you're super paranoid (idk, it felt like 20 minutes...).

Step 3: Take the BACON (while still on the sheet, you impatient SOB) out of the oven with an oven mitt or thick towel cause "Oven HOT".

- Set the tray on top of your oven surface, drooling for a good 2 minutes *minimum* while your bacon rests, as you stare menacingly at the glory thou hath bestowed.

Step 4: Put that shit on a plate!

- With either your face or a spatula, move the BACON off the tray, on to a surface you're comfortable eating on (like a regular household plate (paper/ceramic/whatever).

Enjoy...

DAMN, that shit was good.

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